a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
