if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
