Where is the hickey?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
