my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
