There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
