Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
