i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
