Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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