okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
