The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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