Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
