how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
