is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
