I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
