The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
