I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
