i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
