I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
