I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't deserve a penis
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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