You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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