I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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