She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
