whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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