this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
