My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
