I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize