No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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