hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
