I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize