4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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