Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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