5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
third nipple confirmed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
