question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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