You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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