did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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