I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
