is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
