It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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