The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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