I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
