I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
