Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
