so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
