wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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