she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
