I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
