I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
