I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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