Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
