His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
