I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is the high leading the old right now
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
