these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
