But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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