I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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