Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
