everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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