I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
