So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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