Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
