margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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