I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
