let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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