We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
