Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize