I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
