I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
