I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
