So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
