probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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