Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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