There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
